How Your Past Trauma Affects You Even Today

 

  Has anyone ever told you that you’re too much of a negative thinker?  

 Are you usually the first to give up when things get tough?   

Do you find it difficult to forgive and forget when someone else wrongs you?     If you said yes to any of these things, don’t be so quick to blame yourself.   These are actually all common responses to trauma.

 It's a common belief that challenges can lead to positive transformations, and the same holds true for trauma. 

Rebuilding after trauma, especially the emotional and mental kind, can result in substantial personal growth, enhanced self-awareness, and increased resilience.    

  However, it can also exert negative effects on us in ways we may not fully recognize.    

According to the American Psychological Association (2013), trauma is typically associated with life-threatening encounters, yet it encompasses more than facing imminent danger.  

  Trauma can stem from experiences of loss or psychological and emotional abuse. 

  In simple terms, a traumatic incident can encompass any situation that triggers  intense, overwhelming, and enduring feelings of fear, anxiety, and stress.    

Basically, any situation that brings intense fear, anxiety, and stress can be a traumatic experience.  

 If you don't deal with your trauma, it can affect your thoughts, actions, and even your body. 

 Here are 7 signs that your behavior isn't about you being a bad person, but it's connected to your trauma.  

 1. Always on Alert: Fear of Trouble

Has anyone ever told you that you’re too much of a negative thinker?    

Are you usually the first to give up when things get tough?  

Do you find it difficult to forgive and forget when someone else wrongs you?   

 If you said yes to any of these things, don’t be so quick to blame yourself.

 These are actually all common responses to trauma.

  There are even studies that show how trauma makes it more difficult for us to be optimistic, because experience has taught us to always keep an eye out for the first sign of trouble (Bower & Sivers, 1998).

 2. Trouble Trusting Others

Trauma makes victims more emotionally distant and closed off, and more suspicious of everyone’s motives and intentions.

 They tend to overthink and hyperfixate every little thing someone else says or does.   

Because of this, they also have a hard time asking for help from others or opening up to them about their true feelings  (Hansen, 2010). 

 3.Pulling Away from People

One of the most telltale warning signs that someone is still struggling with their trauma is   that it starts to affect their interpersonal relationships and makes them socially withdraw at times (Amstadter & Vernon, 2008). 

 Have you found yourself always declining invitations or canceling at the last minute?   

 Do you never feel like spending time with your loved ones anymore or keeping in touch with them?   

Would you rather just be by yourself doing nothing even though it doesn’t make you happy?   

 Don’t beat yourself up for becoming more socially withdrawn and losing interest in our hobbies and relationships — it’s probably an unfortunate effect of your trauma.

 4.Sabotaging Relationships

Have you ever found yourself getting close to someone and growing to love them — be it romantically or platonically — only to find that it makes you feel scared, unsettled, or uncomfortable?

Do you ever feel compelled to just run away or sabotage your own relationships, especially when things are going well?

Although you may not be doing it consciously, you’ve likely internalized your past traumatic experiences (especially those that involve other people) so that you now have an expectation that every relationship of yours from now on is doomed to fail.

That’s why you self-sabotage (Hansen, 2010). 

 5.Unhealthy Coping

When people are struggling mentally and emotionally and don’t know how to deal with it, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms instead.  

Some people start binge drinking and partying, while others turn to gambling or overspending.

Others might oversleep to avoid their problems, or overeat to make themselves feel better.

Some even resort to self-harm, self-neglect, or putting themselves in danger.

  Whatever the unhealthy coping mechanism might be, the bottom line is: it’s not you, it’s your trauma. 

6.Hiding Your Emotions

Following a traumatic event, most people tend to feel vulnerable, afraid, ashamed, confused, violated, or even hopeless, so when we’re not ready to confront our feelings yet, we often end up burying them instead.  

But once you start, it can be hard to stop, especially when you haven’t fully dealt with or processed your trauma.

 So, if you noticed you’ve become more emotionally repressed and distant ever since the trauma, this is probably why (Amstadter & Vernon, 2008).

7.Emotions Out of Control

Another sign that someone is still struggling with the emotional and mental fall out of their trauma is that they can’t control their emotions.

Or, some people may feel too emotionally overwhelmed to turn off their feelings,

and thus, they will often be angry, irritable, and have frequent mood swings and temper tantrums.

They might cry a lot more than they used to, or develop a bad habit of taking their frustrations out on those around them.

Either way, these are all clear signs of lingering psychological trauma (Amstadter & Vernon, 2008).

So before you blame yourself, take the time to heal and understand first.

Show yourself some compassion before you call yourself a bad person.

And if you relate to any of the things we’ve mentioned here and if you still have unhealed trauma that’s hurting you even now,please do not hesitate to reach out to a mental healthcare professional today and get help. 

Tags: Self-development,  education, trauma, signs of trauma, how to deal with trauma, effects of trauma,